Welcome to The If Project website.
This project started as a documentary and then transformed into a movement. Though we are still in our infancy, this site will allow us to give you a glimpse inside the world of incarceration. It will offer an unprecedented view into the hearts and minds of incarcerated women as they search themselves for answers as to what lead them to prison, in hopes of preventing others from doing the same.
Working with these women on this project has been a profound experience for both Kim and I. Our mission is to look upon this unlikely and marginalized group of people for wisdom. The message they deliver is clear — we can all make a difference in each other’s lives. This is what they themselves needed most. The hope is that through their voices and writing we can inspire others to have a voice and become active. We can all become something as great as a mentor to a kid who needs it or simply better communicate with our loved ones.
In light of all of that, and to demonstrate the healing power of writing down our stories, we thought it would be best to start our first blog entry with a guest, Marquita Evans. Marquita is the daughter of one of our participants, Andrea, who is the last woman featured in our current documentary clip.
There is much more to come and we hope you will continue to join us.
Kathlyn Horan
Co-founder/Director
How If could have changed my life forever.
“Who would have known the simple question of “if” would change my life forever? For many years I blamed myself for my mothers’ incarceration. I believed that “if” only I would’ve stayed home and not went to camp, “if” only I wouldn’t have left my mother’s side, “if” only I could’ve been there things would’ve been different these past 11 years.
When my mother was asked the question ”if” her response opened many doors for her and us. The time we have been separated has taken its toll on our relationship. We’ve had our ups and downs. We spent the last 11 years “stuffing” our feelings and only expressing them through anger. Through the “if” project my mother was able to look inside of herself and see what all it was causing her to hurt and releasing it all in efforts to help someone else before it is too late, not realizing it would begin the healing process in our relationship. Once my mom was able to release and open up to how she felt I was able to search my own heart and express to her the feelings I had kept bottled in.
A simple question has opened a world to new relationships. It has given the opportunity for others to think before acting. It has healed relationships. It has given us an insight of what could have helped others make better choices. It has given me a second chance of a mother-daughter relationship.”
Marquita Evans
