The If Project

I received a letter from one of the women participating in the project today. One of the things she wrote encapsulates the reason we are doing this project:

“When I spoke to you and the crew, I saw my real self through the eyes of others-the eyes of my friends-and that person was okay. Not only was that humbling, it was also totally freeing.”

It speaks to the struggle, one of the main struggles that these women go through—loving and accepting one’s self. For some of us, it is hard to imagine self-esteem so low that we could make choices so poor that it could lead to prison. I am no expert, but I think I am beginning to understand how this happens. I have read over 250 of their essays and interviewed more than 30 of them. I can only speak from this experience, through what I’ve gleaned from their writings and emotional and open conversations. What I’ve learned is this– the path they all led and the things that shaped them as young people are strikingly similar. Abuse and neglect on every level. This leads to drugs to numb the pain and abusive relationships that mirror what they went through as children and confirm what little value they have for themselves.

So what do we do? How do we stop the cycle before it starts? I think that is our job, to act as a community. To act as a collective that is responsible for those around us. If we did this, if we each widened our nets just a little, could it be possible that no one falls through?

The beauty in all of this is that it’s not too late. It’s not too late for these women to build themselves back up. Just knowing that they are important enough to tell their story. That their story matters. That their voice matters. This in turn makes them feel that they themselves actually matter. And for many, it will be for the very first time. This won’t solve all of their problems, but it most certainly is a beginning.

Kathlyn